Death and Damned Good Pizza

Its been a rough past couple of weeks with the bullshit drama that follows my family around like an arrant flock? pack? hive? of flies around a dying animal. I've been fighting the whole of my families ability to tear each other to shreds, begging for an inner peace treaty for years, only to come to the most recent conclusion that it will never happen.

with this conclusion I've realized that I want to only survive for now. Sure prospering would rock my socks and give my soul an orgasm, but its not priority right now.

My sister's grandmother, lovingly known as Abuela, is in the hospital. After the california trip family feud, it all went down as such;

my lil sister flew to california with her new baby and abuela. They arrive in time for abuela to start feeling back pain and strange (well ... stranger than usual) leg and body swelling. Everyone chocks it up to abuela being abuela.. which is usually "Aye mija, mi estomago hurts". Sadly this isn't the case.

Lets take a moment and explain what this woman has survived:

1. coming to america via last legal refugee barge from cuba in 1969 (approx)
   
2. giving life to one asshole of a son, one bipolar borderline schizophrenic daughter, one vain and gay baby son.
   
3. lives in same house in California for some odd 40 years.
   
4. husband of 25 years older dies at 94, leaving her alone.
5. survives breast cancer with a double mastectomy (yeah that's both baby)
6. survives kidney cancer
7. survives liver failure
8. survives the loss of usage of her legs
9. survives a few abusive live in nurses
10. survives with parkinsons disease

so as you can see.. she's a survivor to say the least the problem is the woman has no need to survive. she's denied dialysis. she's actually denied anything that keeps her alive through any more painful diseases.

well sadly, she is in the hospital now with back spasms, and a single kidney working at a wonderful 30%. damnit.

So I decided to spend the day with my lil sister as she's been sent back to arizona with the decree "if she dies, we'll call ya."

yeah. that's our family!

we spent the day watching comedies.. eating pizza and forgetting the pain that faces us in the near future.

I know you understand that I've gotten no writing done, as I watch this family sit and pray for the life of a woman who wants to die, but whom god refuses to take.

so with this, i'm goin to bed.

sweet dreams...