Friday, September 26, 2008

DC Dog Fights!

Every morning I wake up and watch the story on the newest bank that's gone down. My favorite renegade bank went down this morning. Washington Mutual is no more. I remember when they first started maybe 10 years ago as a huge boom on the market, everyone flooding to the no fee bank. it was an amazing idea that really helped. but on their end... business was beautiful until the shit hit the fan.

i feel bad. more people will be losing their jobs. washington mutual has so many people under them.. what's going to happen to those people?

I'll be honest.. I'm scared.

On a stranger note... I've let my sisters know that I am leaving Dirt city. 1 has made it known that she supports my choice and has basically bowed out. 3 however... 3 has surprised the hell out of me. yesterday... she took me grocery shopping. yeah. i know. we went back to her house and we talked. she admitted that 1 and 3 got together and discussed me.

now here's the thing. the old me the me from a bit ago... would have been pissed. but after all this... i just didn't care. i smiled at her and she immediately said "we didnt get together to talk shit" which of course i knew. she wouldn't have told me if that were the case.

She told me that she didnt want me to go and neither did sister 1. she said that she understands the decision but that she really doesn't want to see me go. she said that she wants to help me. she says that she was forced to grow up this last year and the things she's learned made her realize how important family is.

we sat and talked and i told that here, regardless of what kind of financial plan i create, will never give me enough for me to pay off my debts not just my regular bills, go back to school, and write my novels. its unfair that i cannot do that here. its wrong that i dont get paid enough to pay even my normal bills. its wrong that i can't find another job. and whats worse is i'm isolated and alone here. family isnt enough. i need friends and like minds to hang with and be chill with. i need people who are at my mental level who like the same things and who can spend time with me. she said she understood. ever since she became pregnant she says she's lost all her friends. i wanted to explain it wasn't the pregnancy.. it was leaving high school and moving on. everyone is moving on without her. she didnt go to school to make new friends and she wasn't working at a place to make good friends. she was just .. in limbo. but i said nothing because she can blame on whatever she wants but it all comes down to the fact that she's alone. and that scares her.

its sad to know shes learning these things the hard way.

she wants me to get government help. i accepted. i've no shame when it comes to payin my bills. she wanted to make it clear to me that they are there to help me. i thanked her for it. i understand.

i think my sudden announcement scared them. but its not going to change. this is all i can do to save me. i have 2 families and they forget that. one here in Dirt City and one in California. what can i do?

oh and I'm so sick of hearin about Clay bein gay. People Magazine has it all over. yack.

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