Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Nearly Dead

not dead!! just nearly. lol

things have been extremely tight as life has gotten a lil more challenging. but you know me! I'm all about a challenge! so i've been surviving.

the idea fo moving home with mom is no longer abhorrant as it was a while ago. i've accepted my lot in life and know now what I've got to do to accomplish what needs to be accomplished to live my life the way I need to. there is contentment and happiness. true happiness is so difficult to attain but can you be content? can you feel at peace with yourself without getting everything you've ever dreamed?

I think i can. Life is a long list of compromises. what are you willing to fight for and what are you willing to let go? I have been without cable or internet for maybe 4 days now which accounts for my ass not posting like a good lil blogger should. meh. what can you do?

but i survive because I've got food and such.

I've been trying to write. not just on the fly but to force myself to sit down and create a plot line. I've got an amazing idea brewing in my head that I won't allow anyone to see until i've really got it plotted out and written. I'm taking no chances with this! I don't want to write another romance. i want to write fantasy!!! i want to take you beyond the story and let you feel every stitch. we'll see. :p its exciting. i just have to get past my own frustration and do whats gotta be done.

oh and my damned coworker the older lady came in while i was eating my sammich at lunch and immediately she starts talking about work shit. i sat there trying not to regergitate my salad while she bitched and complained about different kinds of lenses. :(

please god kill me. ;p

or give me a better job. or let me survive these last 6 months without murdering a coworker or family member. i need a drink.



saw 27 dresses... boring.

saw Over Her Dead Body... HORRIBLE!!! oh dear god!! horrible!! langoria shouldn't be allowed to speak during movies. just may lay around half naked. thats it. good god it was horrible.

saw a movie called I REALLY Hate My Job which was an indie film about 5 women goin through shit while workin at a high class rat infested lil bar and at some points it was tedious but others.. really really good. and all i can say is either neve campbell is an amazing actress who can very nicely play a neurotic self absorbed selfish 30 year old or she really is a neurotic self absorbed selfish 30 year old woman who can't act and was just hangin around a sound stage for fun. there ya go

"you are the scum between my toes..." lol


Nattars said...

The buddists would tell you that the true goal of life is contentment not happiness.
If you can look at what you've got and say "yes, this is good" then you're all ready happier than most people.

Jane Doh! said...

very true. now we need to find that in the world because our world crashed this morning. what an ugly state of affairs.